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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28314588">i don't want a lot for christmas, this is all i'm asking for</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf'>WattStalf</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Poll Fics [183]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword &amp; Shield | Pokemon Sword &amp; Shield Versions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, Requited Unrequited Love, Several References to it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:07:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28314588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For years, it should have been obvious that she had a thing for her best friend. But if there's any season good for getting a clue, it's the Christmas season, right?<br/>Zapp is pretty sure that she's fucked.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kibana | Raihan &amp; Original Female Character(s), Nezu | Piers/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Poll Fics [183]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1459168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i don't want a lot for christmas, this is all i'm asking for</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>An AU with the same OC I always slap with Piers, and this time Christmas fluff. As always, she does have her totally fake one sided crush on Leon, but it wasn't enough of a player to bother tagging.<br/>Merry Christmas to me</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span> “Yeah, no, like I said last time you asked,” Piers says, “I opted out of that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know, but maybe something I said sunk in and you changed your mind,” Zapp replies. “I mean, we all know you’re gonna be at the party either way. You come every year either way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just because-” he starts, but then changes his mind about what he is going to say. For whatever reason, he always clams up when it comes to sentimental stuff like that, but Zapp has gotten him to admit it in the past. Despite his general aversion to anything League related that is not completely mandatory, he comes to the Christmas party every year because it means that he gets to see Zapp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This year will be different, but every Christmas since they met during their gym challenge, she has gone back home to visit her family for the bulk of the Christmas season, as much as she may hate it. Her relationship with her family has never been positive, and seeing as they were completely willing to let her move out when she got scouted to be an Electric gym trainer, fresh out of her gym challenge, the feeling is mostly mutual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even so, every Christmas, her mother would guilt trip her into coming home so that she could be miserable until the holiday was over and she could go back. The only break she got was, after becoming an official gym leader, taking over from the gym leader that scouted her, the League Christmas party, which she would always fly to Wyndon to attend. So, despite his general distaste for the holiday itself, as well as his hatred of League parties, Piers always went, because it was his only real chance to see her during the month of December.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This year, though, she is not going home. Last year was bad and enough is enough, so she has decided that this year will be all about herself, and about her friends. Piers has joked that this means he can finally get out of the party, but she knows that he is still going to end up going, even if he has opted out of the new, most exciting part. This year, they are doing a Secret Santa gift exchange, which Piers has told her over and over again that he would not be signing up for, though she has tried to change his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, assignments have gone out, and she called him to ask who he got, pretending to act surprised that he did not take her words to heart, and definitely still chose to opt out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, that’s not important,” he mumbles, deciding to change the subject rather than admit what she already knows. “Who’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> get? Since you’re gonna tell me either way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Melony,” she replies, “so I’m still not sure what to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, don’t ask me, I’m terrible at that sorta stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could always go shopping together, so I could get some ideas,” she suggests. It has been a bit since the last time they had a chance to hang out, and he sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not really into the whole-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even try and pull your cool guy act with me. Just like every year, you’re gonna want to spoil Marnie, so let’s just do our shopping together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t actually argue with her, because he knows that she’s right, and that is the end of that. Zapp is usually right about those kinds of things, but that only makes sense. The two of them have been close for a while, and even though they are a bit of an odd pair, they have stayed best friends since the gym challenge. Life may have gotten busy for both of them, but they always try and make time for each other. As evidenced by the fact that he still goes to the Christmas party, just to see her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~X~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me how you’ve spent your entire life savings, practically, and I still haven’t found a single thing,” Zapp groans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoa, whoa, I haven’t even spent that much,” Piers protests, and Zapp just laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I said, your life savings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, fuck off! I just wanna give Marnie a good Christmas, you know that,” he says with a shrug. “I’m pretty much all she’s got, and she isn’t old enough to be jaded about the holidays yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been like this the entire time I’ve known you, and she’s older than you were when we met.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks at her like he wants to argue, but, as always, knows that she is right. “Anyway, all she’s gettin’ besides gifts from me is a weird card from our weird family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah, </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zapp replies, recalling his aunt and uncle in Alola. His late father, originally from Unova, ran away from his well-to-do family, which apparently fell apart not long after, but his two younger siblings reconnected with him at some point, and keep in touch with Piers and Marnie, though they can hardly be called a close-knit family. And, beyond that, Piers considers them to be weird because of just how close the siblings are, still living together, with the younger sister being around his age, yet looking like she is Marnie’s age, maybe even younger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, nothin’ against Grimsley, but he’s cheap.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, you know I’m just teasing you. It’s sweet that you do so much for Marnie, despite your cool guy act,” Zapp says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not an </span>
  <em>
    <span>act </span>
  </em>
  <span>to think Christmas is kinda stupid, and entirely about the money,” he says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not arguing that, I’m just kinda stupid too,” says Zapp with a smile. The two of them don’t see eye to eye on everything, but she can see where he’s coming from on it. “It’s still sweet that you do so much for Marnie. She’s lucky to have you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, enough about all that. Still no ideas for Melony?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Secret Santa exchange might not have been as good of an idea as I thought,” she confesses. “I don’t know what to get her, I don’t even know what she likes. And I’m pretty sure it’s way too thoughtless to do a gift card for a gift exchange.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, incredibly thoughtless,” he agrees. “What’s trippin’ you up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even know what she has. Like what if I get her something she already has a million of?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I doubt she’d tell you and make it awkward.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not the point!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them go back and forth like that for a while, with Zapp bumping up against him as she whines about her shopping woes. They’re having such a good time that she is only taken out of by the sudden camera flash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, fuck. See, Zapp, this is why I hate goin’ out with you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s not my fault!” she protests, but she knows that it kind of is. It is a mix of both- as a gym leader, she never hides from the spotlight, rather enjoying the attention that it brings her, and as a designer, she appreciates any publicity that she can get. Reporters notice her, and going out sometimes turns into a hassle because of that, but Piers is the opposite.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he could be a gym leader and a musician without getting any attention from the press at all, he would do it. His interviews are few and far between, and he has garnered his bad boy reputation because of how callous he is with the media. Zapp sometimes laughs at the way they try to paint him as some aggressive rebel without a cause, knowing that a lot of his behavior is due to his own shyness, but the rest of it is definitely due to the cause, and he hates all the glamour that comes with the job. Maybe he is a bit of a bad boy, but she hardly thinks the way he called her when they were teenagers, an anxiety ridden mess, asking her if he went too far in one of his early interviews, if everyone was going to hate him now, </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad boy behavior</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the two of them go out together, they get attention, both because the popular Zapp is there, and because the </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad boy</span>
  </em>
  <span> Piers is finally out of his cave, and so, this was bound to happen, with the two of them shopping together. She expects to see another big picture of them together, with another article speculating a relationship between the two of them, which always seems to happen to the two of them, because a man and a woman can’t just be friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It happens with her and Raihan as well, but due to Raihan’s reputation, she is less often painted as a girlfriend, and more often painted as a fling, but it is a lot more common with Piers. They have gotten used to it, but since it’s been a while since the two of them have gone out together, she knows that the media is going to have a heyday with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was still a fun day out, though, even if it does get cut short due to outrunning the press, and even if she never actually got what she came out for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~X~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She expects Raihan to tease her about the article once it comes out, because he always does. And he always brings that same joke up, asking her, “Remember when you used to have a crush on him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really don’t have to keep bringing that up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, your twelve-year-old self would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>melting</span>
  </em>
  <span> if she could see this picture,” he replies, barely able to form a sentence because of how hard he is laughing at her expense. “Remember how you kept gushing about how </span>
  <em>
    <span>cool</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> cool! He still is!” she points out. “Just, you know…we were always just friends. I was a kid, you can’t throw shit I said when I was a kid back in my face like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. You know, honestly, I liked that phase of your life better than the one that you’re currently in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t start on that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When’s the last time you tried to talk to Leon?” he asks, in a smug, knowing voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna talk to him at the Christmas party? Should I try and push you two under the mistletoe?” His tone becomes more insufferable, the more he speaks, and Zapp is too flustered to properly argue. “Look, I would be your wingman. Much as I may disapprove, and think you can do better, I would still be your wingman. But if you wanna give the reporters what you want and switch back to chasing Piers, well…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you just stop?” she asks, but by now, she is laughing as well. She can’t stand him, and he is one of her closest friends, her best friend besides Piers. The two of them met during their gym challenge as well, and for whatever reason, she continues to tell him personal details about her life, even though she knows he is always going to make fun of her for everything, and never actually do anything to help her out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, seriously. So, how about that Secret Santa gift? Did you get me? What did you get me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shut up, you know I don’t have you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but maybe that’s just a lie to keep me from figuring out the truth,” he replies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, just like you’re making up having Allister to trick me into thinking you don’t have me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Raihan groans. “I wish. What do I even get for that kid? Isn’t he like…twelve? I don’t know what twelve-year-olds like!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about you trade with me? If you’re really not lying and have Melony, I’m sure I could figure out something </span>
  <em>
    <span>real nice</span>
  </em>
  <span> for her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no way in hell I’m enabling you there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment, she is tempted to ask him what he thinks that Piers would want for Christmas, but she decides against it. After this conversation, he would try and spin it as her still carrying a torch for him, which is the last thing she needs right now. Since deciding to focus on friends this Christmas, she had talked to Raihan about doing gifts, but after the Secret Santa was announced, he said that could count, since they’re all buying for someone in the League, and that there was a chance they would get each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But ever since Piers said he was opting out of that, she has wondered about getting him something, since he won’t be getting anything from that. However, she also knows if she asks him what he wants, he will say nothing, and not to spend money on him for a consumerist holiday like this, which makes it that much harder to figure out what to get him. There are things she knows he could use, practical things, things that he would have to spend money on one way or another, but that makes it feel kind of thoughtless, and if she is going to give him a gift, she wants it to at least be something that shows she cares.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just not as much as Raihan likes to act like she does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~X~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She did have a crush on Piers when they were kids. Not long after they became friends, she realized it, and never said a word about it, because they were already friends. She did gush a bit too much about how cool she thought he was to his face, but that never went anywhere. Raihan pushed her to confess, but never did, and things eventually faded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the gym challenge was over, he had a gym to take over back home, a family tradition he had not been planning on continuing, but things happened, and Marnie was still five at the time, hardly old enough to be a trainer. He had always hoped she would do that, since he wanted to pursue music, but so far, he has done his best to balance both.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And, at that time, Zapp was scouted by the Electric gym leader as a trainer. With her and Piers both busy with gym related things, she decided it would be a lot better to stop making every encounter she had with him so stressful, and that she might be better off getting over her stupid crush. After all, they were always just friends, and when she thought about it like that, it was easy to talk herself out of liking him, and to completely put that behind her. They hardly saw each other, and she was able to get over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she took over the gym. She was a promising trainer, and when the gym leader wanted to retire, she was quick to compete for the spot, and works hard every year to keep the Electric gym in the majors, to keep their name on the map. Before that first tournament as a gym leader, she had never actually met Leon before, and had never been particularly interested one way or another. His gym challenge was two years before hers, and she did not make it to the finals that year.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, in her first year as a gym leader, she managed to make it to the final battle. Raihan, the one to usually claim that honor if the challenger that year lost out, got a poor match up against Melony, who was ready to deal with him, and Zapp ended up in that final spot. She lost spectacularly, barely standing a chance against Leon, but at the end of the battle, he shook her hand and gave her a bright smile and told her she did a great job, and her heart skipped a beat, and since then, she has managed to barely speak to him, while pining from afar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is nowhere near as all-consuming as her first crush was, but it is still something, and something that both Raihan and Piers tease her for, both always insisting that she will never get anywhere if she doesn’t talk to him. Zapp is content where she is, though, glad to have someone to admire from afar, while not actually worrying about making any progress with. That means, of course, that she is painfully single, and a total virgin who has never even been kissed, but she tries not to worry about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only problem with all of this is, now that Raihan has once again teased her about all of it, it makes her remember all of those things, things that she does not spend a lot of time thinking about. Sometimes it does feel like she doesn’t like Leon nearly as much as she liked Piers, even though she knows that is a stupid comparison to make, and that a crush she had for two years that started when she was twelve can’t actually be compared to what she feels now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s just, when she remembers how she decided to stop liking Piers, and when she remembers the way she let herself fall full force into an impossible distraction of a crush on someone she has no intention of confessing to, it makes it all seem awfully convenient, like she just needed a distraction. It makes it seem like maybe, she just got flustered because Leon is good looking and has natural charisma, and decided that was enough to build unrequited love on, even though he is nothing like the only other person that she has ever been interested in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she’s just letting Raihan and the stupid article get under her skin, and that’s all there is to it. She and Piers are best friends, and he is easily the most important person in her life, but all of that is platonic, and she knows it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~X~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mostly platonic, at least. When she wakes up the next morning, tangled up in her sheets, damp with sweat and…well, she is forced to remember the less than platonic feelings that she is really good at making herself forget when she isn’t in her room. It is like a bad, dirty habit from her youth that she has not been able to break, a secret that she has never shared with anyone, because she knows that Raihan would never let her live her down if he found out she never broke this habit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not as if she can help it, though! Her dreams are entirely out of her control, and she has been having them for a good decade now. Every now and then, she can go a few weeks without them, but they always come back, and usually are much more frequent than that, and they always involve Piers, only Piers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doing the gym challenge at that age pretty much guaranteed her hormones would be raging all out of control, and so, her sexual awakening coincided a little too perfectly with her first crush. Her very first erotic dream was about Piers, and every once since then has been about him, and only ever him, even long after she managed to get over her crush on him. She can’t deny that he’s way too sexy for his own good, not that she would ever say that to his face, and he has only gotten more attractive over the years.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Friends can notice how hot their friends are without being into them, though. She knows that Raihan is incredibly hot, and they are so painfully platonic that the rumored fling articles make them both laugh till they can hardly breathe. Maybe she has never had a horny dream about Raihan, or fantasized about him, but still, it basically means the same thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knows she is dreaming about Piers again because he has been on her mind so much. They hung out, and then there was the article and Raihan giving her shit, and then she remembered when she was that into him, so it makes sense that the dreams would come back. And there’s nothing weird about her subconscious still wanting to indulge in how hot he is, even if, in the waking world, she knows stuff like that is weird, and pushes the boundaries of their friendship way too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of this means that she still has feelings for him. Maybe she has never experienced any substantial horny thoughts regarding anyone else, but she’s an inexperienced virgin who managed to get a better hold on her hormones. If she really tries, then she can fantasize about Leon, it’s just that she has a lot more material to work with where Piers is concerned, after all these years. If a dream is particularly bold, she keeps it in mind when she is alone, because it would be a waste of resources otherwise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that doesn’t mean anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She jumps when her phone goes off, and, as if he can tell that she is talking about him, Piers has texted her. Of course, he has no idea that she was talking about him, and he does not even mention the article- he never does, not anymore, because he’s used to the ridiculous rumor that the two of them are dating- as he asks, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Think of anything for Melony yet?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not even close. I’m still completely stumped.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, I had an idea, if you wanna hear it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hit me with it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Make her something? I mean, you </span>
  </em>
  <span>are</span>
  <em>
    <span> a designer, so you can do that, right? And then there’s no way it’s something she has, because it’s a Zapp Original. And it’s a little more heartfelt then some store bought shit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Holy shit, why didn’t I think of that? You’re brilliant.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Honestly surprised it took either of us this long to figure it out, but hey, we got there!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seriously, you’re a lifesaver! Don’t know what I would do without you!</span>
  </em>
  <span> She finishes her message with a winking kissy face, an emoji that has never meant anything special from her, but she feels weird sending it now, and really doesn’t like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In order to take her mind off of whatever the hell tricks her libido is playing on her, she decides to get right to work. She does not have a lot of time if she is going to pull this off, so she needs a solid design and the materials to get it made. The sooner the better, and she starts sketching, just letting her ideas go wherever they will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In order to enter the Secret Santa pool, everyone had to fill out a questionnaire with basic information about themselves. Favorite colors, favorite scents and flavors, clothing sizes, etc, so making clothes should not be any trouble. She knows the sorts of things that Melony typically wears, but as she studies the preliminary sketches that she has made, Zapp is quick to scrap them, because it looks nothing like Melony’s usual style.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In fact, it looks like it would suit someone else she knows, and once she actually has him in mind, she keeps doodling and sketching things that look way better for Piers. Even though his style differs from her own, she has always admired it, always thought he looked so good that it should be illegal. The only reason she has not done an entire line based on him alone is that she knows he would hate that. Even if he appreciated it from her, even if he liked her designs for it, he would hate the way people would line up to pay exorbitant prices for all of it, and she would rather not do that to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But today, that seems to be all of her inspiration, and the fact that she keeps thinking about that </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> is not good for her case that there is no way in hell she still has feelings for him. She wishes that she could get her mind off of him for even a few seconds, so that she could forget this stupid idea, because she knows that she is long over that, that it was just a stupid, childish crush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now that she’s doing this, though, she has an idea for what to get him. It seems like she has nearly limitless ideas for what would look good on him, and he has said himself that a gift she made herself would be heartfelt. Maybe he doesn’t like Christmas and doesn’t want a gift, but he would understand the thought behind it, and they’re friends. She’s going to get him something, whether he wants it or not, and this way, it won’t be something thoughtless and- hopefully- won’t be something that he will completely hate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>First, though, she needs to actually come up with something for Melony. She can flip through her other sketches, her countless ideas she has had for Piers while trying to work on Melony’s gift, later, and decide what would be best to give him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~X~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wakes up in the middle of the night thinking about Piers, and she can’t fall back asleep because she can’t stop thinking about Piers, and then she can’t fall back asleep because she is starting to panic as she realizes what all of this means. Not just her inability to sleep right now, but everything, all the things that she has pretended to be too stupid to see over the years, because it would be a lot easier to ignore it all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is pretty obvious, as much as she has tried to pretend that it isn’t, and it has always been obvious, and she has always been in love with Piers, because she never got over her feelings for him, she just got better at hiding it, and found a convenient enough distraction, latching onto the first guy to make her heart skip a beat. But she can’t outrun the truth forever, and with everything going on, it has finally caught up to her, and that is why she finds herself, against her better judgment, calling Raihan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is late and he might not even pick up, because even if he is still awake, it is probably because he is busy, and then she finds herself hoping that he doesn’t pick up, because it is not as if she actually wants him to know about this. In fact, the more she wakes up, the more clarity she has, the more she realizes that he is probably the last person, with the exception of Piers, that she wants to know about her midnight crisis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But before she can hang up, he picks up, and as soon as he say, “Zapp, do you have any idea what </span>
  <em>
    <span>time</span>
  </em>
  <span> it is? This better be good,” she knows that she is going to let it all come spilling out either way, because it is somehow hard for her to keep secrets from Raihan. Despite the way he is about, well, everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just made the most horrible, shocking realization,” she groans, and he is already laughing. “Rai, come on, this is serious! I’m in total crisis right now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but I already know what you’re going to say, and I’m preemptively laughing cos I’m gonna laugh my ass off when you finally say it. So, come on, out with it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck, I can’t tell you </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Why would you even say something like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hell no, Zapp, you woke me up on one of the few nights I was going to get a full eight hours, you’re going to tell me everything, and deal with whatever reaction you get.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does have a point there, and if he doesn’t get it out of her tonight, he is going to get it out of her eventually. With a long, perhaps melodramatic, sigh, she says, “I think I’m in love with Piers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he predicted, he ends up laughing his ass off over that, which Zapp really doesn’t appreciate, all things considered. No matter how funny he may think that it is, she kind of wishes that he would have some sympathy to her plight. After all, she is bearing her soul to him here. She’s bearing her soul to him, and he’s laughing. Maybe she does deserve it, considering how stupid she is, but common courtesy still exists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You finally figured it out? Christ, I’ve been waiting for that one,” he says, when he can finally speak clearly again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zapp groans. “Don’t tease me, this is serious!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not teasing, I’m being completely genuine when I say I saw this coming for years. You really think I believed you when you said you were over it? And, yeah, maybe you had your little distraction with Leon, but even if that were serious- which I’ve always doubted- that doesn’t completely disqualify you from still wanting your best friend,” he says, and he is so smug now that she wants to punch him, so he should really consider himself lucky that this conversation is happening over the phone, instead of in person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I’m done with this conversation, if you’re going to keep making fun of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re not,” he says, before getting a bit more serious. “Really, though, don’t hang up. I’m here for you. Go ahead and tell me what happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing new, not really. I mean, I had another dream about him, but that’s not-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Another</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” he interrupts. “Do you still have those frequently? I thought those stopped after you got over him?” Since she often regrets how much information she gives him, and definitely regretted letting him find out about the horny dreams, she lied and told him they stopped, even though they definitely never did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I lied, they never went away,” she admits, and he laughs a little bit, but she isn’t even sure if she can blame him for it anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, so you have frequent erotic dreams about him, and you still thought you only wanted to be his friend? Your subconscious was sending you pretty clear signals. How many other guys do you have those kinds of dreams about?” he asks. “If one of them is me, don’t say anything. Actually, no, tell me, that would be pretty flattering.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut the fuck up, I don’t dream about you, I don’t dream about </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she retorts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except Piers,” he points out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except Piers,” she repeats, her tone very miserable, in contrast to his unabashed glee and amusement. “But nothing new happened, I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking. I was trying to figure out what to get him for Christmas-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so he’s getting a gift even though I’m not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We already agreed about that! He’s not doing the gift exchange, so I wanted to get him something, except-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except you started to figure out it wasn’t any holiday pity making you want to give him a gift, but rather your massive crush on him that you never actually got over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something like that. I hate when you’re right. Anyway, he had the idea for me to design something for Melony, and said it was a good and thoughtful and not entirely soulless gift, which got me thinking I should design something for </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and…I dunno, I just woke up and realized that…you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s not so bad,” Raihan says, once he knows that she is done telling her story. “Actually, that sounds like it’s not too bad at all. Since you’re going to give him such a thoughtful gift, that sounds like the perfect time to confess to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zapp nearly chokes when he says this. “Whoa, whoa, back up! Who said anything about confessing to him? I’m still trying to process the fact that I still like him, and you’re already…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, it’s a good idea and you know it. You’re going to have to tell him eventually, and I feel like this will set the perfect romantic backdrop that you’ll be sure to remind me of when you tell me the same story for years to come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to tell him ever, actually! And I think that’s a way better idea, if I’m being completely honest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell, Zapp? I can see why you wouldn’t try anything with Leon, especially since he was obviously a distraction, but you’re not actually going to treat Piers the same way, are you? It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>Piers</span>
  </em>
  <span>, your best friend in the world besides me. You can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> tell him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, he kinda outranks you on that front-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not by much! Just being honest, and the love thing kinda puts him above you, you should know that. Anyway, that is all the more reason to never tell him and not make it weird. I mean, that’s why I never said anything when we were kids,” she says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but we were kids, and even then, that was kind of stupid,” he argues. “Like, what’s the worst thing that could happen? And don’t tell me some would-be sob story about losing your best friend, because we both know he isn’t like that. It would take a hell of a lot to get Piers to drop you as a friend, and a love confession isn’t exactly cutting it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but things will still get weird, and I mean…maybe I won’t be able to be his friend. I’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to, but it would hurt a lot, getting rejected and stuff. If I never say anything, I never have to know if he would turn me down or not, and that solves the problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> solve the problem, because you don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he would turn you down, you said it yourself. Why would you want to leave that hanging in the air?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighs, as she considers what he has said. It does all make sense, and she knows that pining for her best friend for the rest of her natural life isn’t exactly going to work out in the longterm. Right now, she feels like it will be easier, but that definitely won’t always be the case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You still with me, Zapp?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate it when you’re right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, you’ll be thanking me later. So, Christmas party? Are you going to do it then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a little sudden, so I don’t know,” she replies, and he groans. “Come on, at least I’m thinking about it! I just might need more time than that to get ready, but I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> think about it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, suit yourself. But keep me posted, I love shit like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since when?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, since you started pouring your soul out,” he teases her, and if he were here, she really might punch him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Raihan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, go on, get some sleep. Since you already kept </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> up,” he replies, but once again, he is teasing her, and she does not dignify that with a response. That being said, she already knows that she is not going to be getting much sleep tonight, not with this realization heavy on her mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~X~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She puts her focus into Melony’s gift, and manages to pull something together that she thinks will work. The hat, scarf, and gloves all match, and are made from pretty nice material that she thinks will look good on Melony. It seems practical enough, considering the climate that she lives in, and her usual attire, but now that that is out of the way, she has to return to her several sketches for gifts for Piers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It all looks good, at least on paper. She has almost infinite ideas about what he might like, and what would look good on him, and especially what she wants to see him in, and she still has enough time to pull most of these things off before Christmas Eve. However, something doesn’t feel right about any of them, something that makes it impossible for them to ever leave the page.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knows it is stupid to think that this would not be heartfelt enough, when he is the one who suggesting designing a “Zapp Original,” as he put it. She knows that she is being stupid, thinking that she needs to do something different, something that is not so connected to her secondary job, but she can’t shake that thought. This gift will be heartfelt, but will it be </span>
  <em>
    <span>enough</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and will it be what she wants to give Piers?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zapp has never actually knitted before in her life, but she goes out to buy the necessary supplies anyway. After reading a bit online, she happens to remind herself of the concept of knitting a scarf for a loved one, and that the longer she makes it, the more intense it will suggest her feelings to be. She could make him something much cooler, and something that would suit him a lot more than a knitted scarf, but she can’t shake the idea once it has taken root, and so, she decides it is high time that she learns how to knit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is awkward going at first, and she has to restart a few times, but she has always been good with craftier things, and is eventually able to get the hang of it. The yarn she chose will at least match his gym uniform, not that she can ever imagine him wearing this beyond the bear minimum he will convince himself he has to do to make sure he does not hurt her feelings. Everything about this seems like a stupid idea, but this is what she has settled on, and she decides to commit to working on it every day, for a set amount of time, and maybe longer, if she can manage it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She may have only just come to terms with her feelings for him after years of being an idiot about it, but if she were to actually make a scarf long enough to represent the depth of her feelings for him, she would be knitting for a very, very long time. Fortunately, she has the perfect bad Unovan Christmas pop song to play on loop while she goes, to keep her in that perfect pining mood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~X~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Christmas Eve is eventually upon her, and Zapp has pretty solidly decided that she is not going to be confessing to anyone tonight. Raihan has tried to hype her up for a few times, and is still convinced that she is going to go through with it, but he is just going to have to learn to live with the disappointment. She still isn’t ready to put her friendship with Piers at risk like that, so she’s just going to give him his gift as his friend, no love confessions attached.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>First, though, she wants to get the other gift out of the way. Once it is clear that everyone who is coming has shown up, the chairman does a little speech about how excited he is to have another Christmas party, and Zapp can see Piers in her peripheral vision, rolling his eyes through it like he always does. Funny how that kind of stuff used to make her laugh, and now it just makes her heart throb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, he announces that it is time for the Secret Santas to give out their gifts, so everyone quickly scatters, looking for whoever they have to present the present to. Zapp waits patiently for Melony to finish giving her gift to Milo, entertaining herself with how awkward Raihan looks trying to get Allister to accept his present, before she goes up to give Melony the wrapped box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As expected, Melony does like the gift, saying that she will get a lot of use out of them, and seems touched to find out that Zapp designed them just for the occasion. She wanders off to mingle, and Zapp waits patiently for her own gift, trying to use process of elimination to figure out who has her. Obviously, she knows that Raihan and Melony don’t, and she eventually arrives at the conclusion that it must be Nessa or Allister, since she has seen neither of them giving a gift to someone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then she sees Nessa go up to Piers to give him a gift! Zapp can’t help but stare in confusion, because Piers has told her over and over again about how he had zero intention of participating tonight. Why is Nessa giving him a present? It’s not like </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nessa</span>
  </em>
  <span> is trying to win him over, because she has her hands pretty full with Milo, not to mention Kabu…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to go get him for you?” Raihan asks from behind her, startling her out of her thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” She turns around to face him and he looks like he wants to laugh at how out of it she is right now, but has the decency to hold back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Piers? So you can give him your gift and tell him you like him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already said I’m not-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, you look like you don’t want to go up to him yourself, so I had an idea. You let me go get him for you, since I’m such a good friend and all,” he says. “Here, how about you wait over here?” Zapp, who is still too stunned over the fact that Piers lied to her about signing up for the gift exchange to react, lets him guide her to stand somewhere. “Now, stay right here, and I’ll go get him for you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She really can’t do this, and she has no idea why Raihan still has it in his head that she is going to confess tonight. In fact, she is not even sure if she’s going to be able to give him the gift, because now she’s afraid he will just think it’s dumb, maybe cheap and tacky, instead of heartfelt like she planned. Maybe he’ll just like whatever Nessa got him more, and even though she knows all of that is really out of character for him, she can’t stop worrying about it, until Raihan is dragging him over, and pushing him right in front of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, you guys talk, have fun, enjoy the party,” he says, giving Zapp this infuriating smile before making himself scarce- though she would not at all be surprised if he is looking for some place where he can watch them from a distance, rather than doing the actual decent friend thing of minding his own damn business.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what’s all that about?” Piers asks. “Didja need something? Or he just being himself again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, uh…” She doesn’t know why it’s so hard to meet his eye. It’s not like this is the first time that she has had a crush on him. One would think that she would be used to conducting herself around him, since she did this all the time when she was younger. However, when she does look around, trying to avoid his gaze, she realizes exactly why Raihan picked this spot to make her wait for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seriously, she has no idea who even brings this shit to these parties. Does the chairman just hire a decorating committee and let them go wild with their ideal Christmas decorations without really thinking about the implications of what they might leave hanging around? Or is he encouraging reckless hookups between the gym leaders, because that is definitely a risk of having alcohol and mistletoe in the same room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she says, because she has trailed off for way too long, and Piers is probably wondering what the hell is wrong with her, and why she can’t speak anymore. “I was gonna give you a Christmas present, since you didn’t sign up for the exchange. I mean, I know you said you didn’t want anything, but you also said you weren’t signing up for the exchange, but then, there you are. With a gift from Nessa. What’d she get you, by the way?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gift card,” he says, and she can’t help laughing then, which helps dissolve some of the tension, at least a little bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, that’s terrible. But you’re not easy to shop for. Surprised she didn’t just ask me what to get you, but then, I would have figured out a lot sooner you were lying,” Zapp says. “So, what’s up with </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piers groans and says, “I’m honestly surprised Raihan didn’t spoil it already. I mean, put two and two together, huh, Zapp? No one’s given you a gift yet, I haven’t given anyone anything. I lied about cos I had you, and thought it’d be easier to convince ya I still wanted to opt out, than making up a lie about who I was shopping for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, you got </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” At least that makes it all make sense, and suddenly, she can’t really blame him for being so secretive. “So, what is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about my present?” he replies, and she shakes her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, now I feel like it might be lame. I was trying to do something heartfelt cos I felt bad you were the only one at the party not getting anything-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So it’s definitely gonna beat a gift card, Zapp, hand it over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way! What if it sucks compared to what you got me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I doubt that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be the judge of that, Piers, hand it over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, the thing is, I can’t exactly…hand it over,” he says, and she cocks her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that means?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not something I can give you tonight, at least not here. You’d have to come visit me sometime, and it’s probably a dumb idea, so I won’t blame you if ya decide to skip out on that,” he says, his voice dropping to a mumble by the end of his sentence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no way. I’m gonna love it, whatever it is,” she says, and decides that she should give him his gift, to try and break the tension that has started to grow as he shrinks into himself, as he is wont to do. That has always been something the two of them have been able to connect over; when Zapp is low, she is dead to the world, and Piers is one of the only people she can talk to that doesn’t try and make it better, while not understand at all what she needs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back, it is painfully obvious that he has always been the only one for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hands over the wrapped both, and he takes it, not wasting any time tearing off the paper and opening it. While he pulls out the scarf to inspect it, Zapp can’t help but keep going, saying, “Look, I know it’s not your normal thing and you’re probably not a scarf guy, but I just want you to know I made it all myself, like I learned how to knit and stuff. It’s not quite as good as what I could have made, I guess, but it was a lot more work because-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s perfect,” he interrupts her, and his voice sounds weird, but she can’t quite place what it is that is off about it. “Seriously, Zapp, this must have taken you forever to make. It gets cold as shit, I can definitely use a scarf. Especially one you made for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you don’t think it’s lame?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How could I think that? S’way better than anything store bought, that’s for sure,” he says, and he gives her a smile, a genuine smile that makes her want to throw her arms around him and never let him go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She does manage to restrain herself, though, and instead asks, “Now can you tell me what my gift is? I gave you the tacky yarn scarf.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just not somethin’ you can wear around or anything, or even really use, it’ll probably end up being more for me, so I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Piers, come on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wrote a song,” he mutters, his voice barely audible, but not so much so that she can’t pick up on exactly what he’s said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, you did? Like…for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kind of?” Now he is struggling to look at her, toying with his choker. “I mean, I kinda had you in mind, and I was thinkin’ about the stuff you said you liked to listen to, like your favorites of mine, and I had some ideas for lyrics, so I thought maybe if I let ya listen to it before anyone else, that might be a cool gift? Not somethin’ you could get anywhere else, at least, and if you wanted me to say publicly that it was a gift, I could, but it’s fine if you don’t…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zapp can hardly believe what she’s hearing right now, and her heart is pounding so loud that it is a wonder she can hear Piers at all. This is easily the most thoughtful thing anyone has done for her, and it makes her feel like that much more of an idiot for ever thinking that there was anyone else for her. And when he is standing here, blushing and mumbling and looking so damn </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>, talking about his gift for her after gushing about the shitty scarf, she decides that maybe she can just go for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe tonight really is the perfect time to confess to him, and maybe the mistletoe isn’t a bad idea, and maybe Raihan can get a little credit for pushing them here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Piers?” she says, and he looks at her directly then, giving her the opening she needs to throw her arms around him and kiss him, not caring who sees them like this. And Piers, despite his general shyness, particularly where displays of affection are concerned, does not even hesitate long enough to make her worry, because he is immediately right there with her, his arms around her waist as he kisses her back, also seeming to not give one single fuck who might be watching them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes her a long time to be able to pull away from the kiss, so lost in her overwhelming joy and so happy to be so close to the man she has been dreaming about for the past decade- regardless of how aware of her feelings she may have been- but eventually she does, pulling back to look up at him. “Sorry,” she breathes, “but Raihan parked us under the mistletoe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I noticed that,” he replies, about as breathless as she is. “I didn’t know if you did, but I figured he was droppin’ hints again. He’s been trying to get me to confess to you tonight, even though I said-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, you too?” she asks, before her eyes widen. “Wait, confess to me? Like you like me too? Wait, he was trying to…he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’re sayin’ he was telling you the same stuff?” Piers is as shocked as he is, and it takes them a moment before they both accept that this is not nearly as surprising as they’re acting like it is. And, at least, they can give their nosy friend some credit for leaving confessing up to them, rather than going back and forth between the two of them and taking matters into his own hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long?” she asks, and Piers groans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ten years, but that’s just cos I’m fucking stupid and couldn’t get up the nerve. What about…what about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ten years, give or take. I’m a lot stupider than you, cos I thought I got over you, but I so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t,” she says. “Piers, I’ve had a crush on you since I met you, practically. I’m stupid, but not so stupid that I could keep ignoring the facts. I’m in love with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Zapp, that’s…I mean…I’m in love with you, I just thought that might be a little intense, maybe too soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Considering how much time we wasted, I’d say we need to kick things up a notch to make up for last time,” she replies as she looks up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah? Then don’t mind if I do…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They don’t spend that much longer at the party, because publicly making out, even with the mistletoe excuse, is annoying as fuck, and gives certain people a little too much to talk about. Instead, she heads home with him so that he can play that song for her and, hopefully, make some of her persistent dreams come true. On the way, they fall into a discussion about Christmas, where he assures her that he still thinks it sucks, but that </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> Christmas in particular will be the one exception.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you're interested in my writing updates, please join my discord server! https://discord.gg/xUrPXDH<br/>I stream here, and the chat is locked when there isn't a stream going on, so for the most part, it's only posts that are updates from me</p></blockquote></div></div>
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